flying in little planes, and other acts of patriotism

(showing off her best impression of an american actress fending off the paparazzi)

there's something about summer that just seems so....american... which is funny because do they not barbecue in other countries? no hose water fights? no absurdly giant balls of ammunition being shot up in the air and then exploding into a bunch of lights and sprinkling depris back down on all the voluntary spectators? (okay, i already know the answer to that one) 

in any case, summer = america. which is why the boy really went all out this year with his fourth of july getup. well, that and he lost a bet to me...

these two looked just fantastic (said with a lisp) at the telluride fourth of july parade. there may or may not have been american flag speedos involved too, but that footage has been burned... just look at 'em waving their flags with pride...

q was proud to be an american but opted for a tutu instead of a speedo. thank our lucky stars

 

next on our list of patriotic activities...and i'm not even sure why this felt patriotic to me - maybe because of the red and blue stripes on the side... was our near death experience in a 6-seater prop plane. 

okay fine, it wasn't a near death experience at all - our pilot definitely knew what he was doing, but if you saw the way we were all gripping to our seats for dear life during the flight, you would think it was. let me rephrase that, the boy and i were gripping the seats for our lives while the pilot was casually flipping through pictures on his ipad!!

at one point during the flight, the boy asked the pilot, "so, what would i do if you suddenly died of a heart attack right now?" i can't say for certain, but i'm guessing the pilot sensed our tenseness...

let's back up. our friends invited us to stay at their family cabin with them in montana (see - doesn't that just sound american somehow?) and we've been wanting to see what flying in a small plane was all about (isn't that a normal curiosity?)

so we connected with a pilot who could take the whole fam out and back to the montana boondocks. because that's just the type of thing we do as a family - load up a carseat with a toddler and a pregnant woman on a teensy little plane for a 3 hour flight. i seriously considered wearing depends. by the way, i'm pregnant again in case i haven't mentioned that yet... yay!

(check out how patriotic i am)

the last, and only, time i was ever in montana was with bug on our way to seattle back in the day. we stopped in butte, or as we called it, butt (no offense to any butteons out there. butteites? butteys?) it was pretty sketchy, but that could have just been because we had about $4.23 to both our names and were looking for the cheapest place we could find to spend the night. i guess anyplace would be pretty sketch when that's your criteria. 

we were patriotic back then too though and went to see the site of the battle of little big horn and custard's last stand. It was a powerful scene, and as we soberly drove away from it, bug reverently and in all seriousness said, "wow, what a battle that must have been between big horn and colonel mustard." ...in the conservatory...with the candlestick... 

anyway, back to montana. q liked the plane. especially singing "la la la" over and over again into the headphones for all traffic control people across the country to hear. so i guess she's more adventurous than her parents in that sense

i'm so glad we lived to tell the tale because when we landed back in colorado, there just so happened to be 70-something parachuters jumping out of planes AT THAT VERY MINUTE trying to beat a world record of some sort (also seems oddly american, huh?). so we got to see them do their thing, which looked something like this:

i know, i know. the jumpers look like little tiny spots in the picture - like when you laugh out loud at something you see while on the computer and eating an oreo and it sprays little crumbs on the screen...

so, i took the liberty to make the jumpers feel more personal to you so you could really get a sense of it all

god bless america and all of its bizarre quirks

canada oh canada, i s'il vous plait

(aren't we hot?)

i could go on for years, maybe centuries, about reasons why i think colorado's so great, but i'll save you your entire lifetime and hone in on just one reason: red rocks amphitheater.

ah red rocks, you're the home to many a great memories - the most recent being mr. peter gabriel. "peter gabriel?" you say. "isn't he someone your parents listened to when you were just a wee tot?" yup he sure is - and that's why my dad was sad we didn't invite him to the concert.

i actually remember one day after school in probably the 2nd or 3rd grade and my best friend (until she left the friendship bracelet i made her at the park months later ON PURPOSE) was sad for some reason and i went over to her house and sang her "don't give up, you still have friends" that's how much of an influence the ol' cassette player pounding through our house was on me, mom and dad. be proud (p.s. how great is this music video??)



anyway, yes we went to the peter gabriel concert at red rocks. and yes, it was raining like we were standing  in our shower. with clothes on. and no rain jacket (in my case). so, i decided to throw on the old ratty bath robe that just so happened to be in our car, because doesn't everyone keep bath robes in their cars in case of emergency?

the second best part of the concert was when the rain clouds broke and opened up to reveal a perfectly amazing full moon right over us. while that was cool in and of itself, the very best part of the concert was the guy sitting in front of us watching when the moon came out and crying, literally crying through great big (likely drugged-up) sobs, "are you kidding me?!?" while hugging (clobbering) his concert-mates and whoever else was in a five mile radius of him. it just further confirms my theory that any event is only as good as the people watching.

the boy immediately called his friend - a true peter gabriel fan - after the concert and told him to run, don't walk, to the next show wherever it might be. little did we know it would be in toronto, canada a few days later...and that said friend would call back five minutes later with four tickets asking us to go with them.

so, we did what any reasonable and sensible people would do and canceled everything we had going on to leave our daughter with our nanny and fly to canada.

i was excited because i had never been to canada, although i for some reason told every person i met the first year in college that i was born there. i'm not quite sure why, but it was fun and only backfired once. you do stuff like that in college. or at least i did...

embarrassingly, the only thing i really knew about canada came from 11th grade geography when we were assigned to write a "travel journal" after "traveling to" (aka, researching) a foreign country. there's no way i should have even passed because i'm pretty sure canada cannot under any circumstance be considered "foreign," but that's beside the point.

the point is, i still shouldn't have passed because the only "research" i did was listening to this song over and over again. i'm once again pointing my fingers at you, mom and dad - thanks for teaching me early that song lyrics are an appropriate way to communicate in the world.



i'm not kidding. my travel journey consisted of me talking about how i drank milk from a bag and watched lemmings falling into the ocean. i got an A

peter gabriel was almost as good in canada, except there were no crazy sobbing men peeing their pants about the full moon. but, our flight attendant's name was cake, so that has to count for something.

sing us a song you're the (traveling) piano man (who sits on the back of a truck)

in accordance with our wonderfully random life, we got an email from some guy asking if he could stay with us for a few days as he passed through town. our answer was an immediate, "no doi, yes!" and that's how we got the pleasure of hosting danny kean:

what's so great and random about this guy, you ask? why, he's spent the last four years of his life driving around the country in a truck with a piano on the back, of course. 

(i kind-of feel like i just recreated that part in disneyland's haunted mansion where they show part of the picture first and then it zooms out to the whole picture and the story completely changes...)

anyway, as i was saying before i distracted myself with my disney-like genius, we had a fun few days hanging out with danny and playing the piano on the back of a truck...naturally. we even took the whole fam out to pearl street in a desperate attempt to get people to notice us (please cover that last sentence in a good coat of sarcasm). the boy got to play (multiple versus of chopstix) while danny drived.

danny's first goal is to make people happy. danny's second goal is to get oprah to notice him and pull some strings so he can play his truck piano while someone drives him across the field at next year's superbowl...

...i have to be honest, i'm at a loss of words for what else to even write here. sometimes the pure randomness in my life awes even myself.

good luck, danny!

my baby is now free to travel around the planet

in case you're wondering, yes you do need to get a passport for your newborn if you're planning on ditching the country.

and yes, they do lie your baby down on a piece of white butcher paper on the floor in the post office to take her picture. i'm so sad i didn't get a picture of this

and yes, her eyes do need to be open, which can be quite a trick to wake a sleeping infant. and an even bigger trick to keep her from crying because she's ticked off that you woke her up. it included an awfully lot of waking her up, her crying, calming her down enough that she'd fall back asleep, waking her up again...

and yes, it does need to be a straight on shot showing both of her ears which means the mommy can put her hand underneath the butcher paper to hold her baby's head up straight (our pic almost didn't make the cut because both her ears aren't clearly showing...they're very strict about this. as though she'll even be look like her pic within the next week or so).

and yes, i did make the mistake of putting her in an outfit with what the boy calls "jail stripes" on the shirt. it really is a cute outfit in person and was a steal of a deal, but she looks like our little convict.

which is probably why we had to take an oath on our one month old's account swearing that she was not planning any terrorist activities on the united states.

and yes, she does get to keep this passport (with the photo) until she's five years old. how fun will it be to travel when she's five carrying a picture of herself as an infant? at least she'll be recognizable by the one ear that's showing.

lessons i learned in idaho (long but worth it for points # 4 and 13)

so, imagine your brand new spouse says to you, "there are two back-to-back family reunions going on over the course of a week...wanna go?" while 99.9997% of people would say something to the effect of "umm...no," my brave and adventurous new spouse was actually EXCITED for such a trip.

so off to the eagle ridge dude ranch in yellowstone we flew* to spend a few days with my mom's side of the fam. here are some lessons i learned:

1. whenever possible, fly into an airport that's 50'x50'. you wont' be disappointed. maybe a little bored waiting for your ride, but not disappointed.


2. per aunt wendi's teachings, you should always take yoda along for the ride. because what adventure can't you find with yoda on your back??


3. some hot pots might look pretty and inviting and green...


...but stepping on them could cause lots of pointing and gasping from the people around you. also you might lose your cap


4. pickles with faces are the best



5. bring along a photographer who's not afraid of zooming in on the animals (nice work, the boy!)



6. always be sure to bring along puzzles to entertain the introverts of the family

i'd rather not talk about how long it took us to get that dumb yellowstone-map puzzle done... on the plus side, we sure knew our way around yellowstone after that!

7. only trust personal watermelon. even if you have no idea what that means


8. don't, however, trust any sort of stuffed animal bear that has a see through belly with other animals inside of it


9. don't try to take a picture that looks like old faithful is coming out of your mouth because it will just turn out looking like you're licking the guy's ear next to you


then off to idaho falls we went to spend the rest of the weekend with my dad's side of the family, where we learned

10. make it a point to take a spin in your uncle's "mid-life crisis"


11. take more pictures in idaho falls....

12. you CAN take raspberry and rhubarb plants on an airplane as a carryon. who knew?

13. families are fun, so we've decided to start one!


secret...and belly... is out!! we're due at the end of december and my favorite comment so far has been from my very own husband who said, "i sure hope you bake babies better than you bake other stuff!" thanks, sweetie ;)




* we were planning on driving up until the night before when we realized that it was a 10-hour drive instead of the measly 6 hour drive i made it out to be...i have a feeling that'll be the last time the boy listens to me when it comes to driving distances...

salt lake - where they camouflage their port-o-potties

even though it's a little bit premature, i surprised meghan with a birthday weekend extravaganza! she knew we were going "somewhere" but didn't know the "where" part. and when it comes right down to it, who really ever knows the "some" part?

here's the bug excited to tears (in the form of her tongue) when she found out we were off to slc for the weekend!

i think she was expecting a surprise trip to seattle, but for obvious reasons, that couldn't happen.

my favorite part about the bug is that you can take her anywhere and you know it's destined to be a good time. and to prove that point, we went to the world's freakiest bakery.



who eats daffodils?? i guess the same person who would eat this (cue mysteriously evil "dun dun dun" music)

ummm hello... that's the most frightening thing i've ever seen. ever

so then we moved on to happier things

oh wait...that's creepy too... who in their right mind would use the slogan "we're everywhere" and expect people to be okay with that? especially when it's posted right outside of the freakiest bakery. check out my cute butterfly shirt though.

so, i gave meghan 3 envelopes, each with a birthday surprise in it. the first one was our plane tickets to salt lake. that one was easy because she was able to open it right away. as for the other two....giving them to her right upfront was a mistake. everywhere we went that first night, she'd pull them out and just look at them. we sit down for dinner. she pulls the envelopes out and sets them next to her plate, for example.

the second envelope was her registration to walk in the ms walk, which is something she loves doing (walking AND helping the ms society). so we marched down to the front desk of our hotel and asked for markers. on one hand, i kind of feel bad for the front desk of our hotel, but on the other hand i feel like we truly graced them with our presence. the first night we were there, we marched down in various combinations of swimsuits, hoodies and dress(me)/skater(megs) shoes at 10pm asking where the closest place to get gummies was. so, i feel like they kind-of rolled their eyes when we asked for markers the next morning.

hopefully they didn't mind that we got skin oil all over their markers by tatooing ourselves for the ms walk. they didn't say anything, so maybe they didn't mind.


and then, because we have a strong history of random easter celebrations (2007, 2008), meghan came up with a brilliant idea. why don't we hardboil some eggs in our hotel room coffee pot?!? this is what happens when you reach a quarter of a century. your intelligence sky rockets. i do feel kind of bad for the next people who stay in room 603 and want coffee. and i do feel kind of bad for the front desk when said people call down yelling about how their coffee tastes like eggs...


then we dyed the eggs, of course



and then i put the carton in my purse so we could eat them all around town when we got hungry. kinda like a ziploc full of cheerios only slightly different.


and finally, the third envelope was the greatest of all the birthday gifts:


now i don't mean to sound like a broken record. well, i guess i don't since i've never said it before...but OTHER people have said it and i don't mean to sound like everybody else, but this show is incredible! we may have talked about it the entire rest of the trip. and then i may have listened to the soundtrack 3 (maybe 4, but who's counting?) times yesterday alone. i know tickets are hard to come by for this production, but it's worth it. if you have to sell your firstborn child or a kidney, it's worth it.

love you megs!!

new zealand is for 50 cent horse poo: greymouth - part 4.2

continuing on with our greymouth experience...

greymouth for some reason made the boy crave fish & chips. so, around our normal dinner time of 9pm the first night we were there, we headed out to conquer the craving. the problem was, everything was closed! this was truly the most foreign concept of all of new zealand to us. how could entire cities close down at 8pm? we were so sad because the only place that was open was a kfc and HOW could you eat at a kfc when you're exploring the world??

and then, we found it...


don't be fooled by the mexican hat dancer on the door. it was an indian restaurant. and for some reason, that sounded way more nz authentic to us than kfc, so we were happy albeit void of fish & chips.

the next day, we set out to continue the hunt by driving to the next town where they had quote - good fish & chips - unquote. problem was, they didn't even HAVE f&c - just fish bites. which made for a sad boy (he hides his sadness well).


one good thing about going into the next town, however, is that we got to meet this one-eyed wool loomer AND buy hats from her!


our second night in greymouth, we made the same mistake and headed out to dinner way too late. fool me once, shame on you greymouth... we saw the lights on at this italian place (another good authentic nz restaurant) and i literally jumped out of the campervan while the boy was still driving to stick my hand in the door before they locked it. we were told we could order a pizza but it had to be to go. so we did. and then we ate it on our table in the campervan right outside the restaurant's front door.

greymouth day 3 - we heard about this place


you strap into a little dune buggy type of contraption and drive around for an hour through puddles upon puddles of mud. it was fabulous!




but, what was even more fabulous about this place was it's association with the miniature land!! made perfect sense because normally when i think of off-roading go-karts, i also think of mini gnomes.



we got to walk through miniature land while we waited for our go-kart to be ready. we even got to talk to the builder of the land. i was a little bit confused why there was a bird skeleton and a dragon soaring above one of the mini lands, but then i met him and it all made sense.

what in the??

what in the??

oh... got it

here are some highlights from mini land (and i have to say, it was hard to just pick a couple):

now THIS is what i call a farmlet!


always breaking the rules...

we found another place for f&c. much better than fish bites. see how happy the boy is? now that's what i call a fish & chips! (i'm not quite sure what the singular...and fish only part of that meal would be called...)

we finally decided we'd better leave greymouth before the town closes on us again and sharon and harry sent us off in style. they gave us some lovey-dovey champagne glasses as a congrats, and harry even helped us make a sign for our campervan (notice the pounds of masking tape and marker ink that only a three-year old could use for one piece of paper).




bye, greymouth - we heart you!