for the inseparable friends

how happy that someone finally created a girls bathroom where not even walls exist to stifle any gossip between friends. but how sad when two girlfriends skip in to pee together and one can’t sit because there’s masking tape on the seat.. plus she has no toilet paper

first snow!!

after being away from good ol’ mountain winters for the past few years, i’ve been a little hesitant to face the snow again. and then the snow decided to face me. we had our first snowfall yesterday – at least 3 feet probably. blizzard conditions. couldn’t leave the house. this is all a lie. we seriously did get about 6 inches though – not too shabby for a pre-halloween storm.

and even though i survived my first true snow in a few years (dc and seattle snow doesn’t count), hats off to milo who not only experienced his first snow ever, but decided he loves playing in it (to the regret of his owner). it was deep enough (or maybe he’s just small enough), he’d step and his entire body would sink. it looked like a little toupee resting on the snow. then he’d fly out in one foul leap and sink in an inch further. he’s like a little kid – 3am rolls around and he’s waking me up with a “i really want to go play in the snow right now” lick. so, in honor of his first snow, i got him some snow gear. it was only appropriate. he thinks he’s all that in his little suit. he works it with the lady dogs

Punkin Chunkin

apparently there’s a shortage of pumpkins this year for halloween. maybe i’m talking out of line, but i feel like i heard that somewhere – probably from a reliable source, but who knows. anyway the point is, i love pumpkins. pumpkin smoothies, pumpkin ravioli, pumpkin whatever-else-you-make-from-pumpkins. except for jack-o-lanterns kind of scare me. they didn’t used to until i got a little tiny pumpkin last year with full intention to make the cutest jack-o-lantern known to man. so of course it had big doe eyes and a little smiley smirk and maybe some little elfish ears because i heard those were cute. it was the freakiest thing ever. looked like an anime teletubby – not pleasant. and then it looked really scary once it started getting wrinkly. i couldn’t even throw it away because i was too afraid to get too close to it. it was for sure some sort of evil spirit vessel.

you know what i wanted to do with that thing? this

punkin chunkin is a sport (did you know “sport” is the word used for a hamster that is genetically different from the rest of all hamsters? makes the phrase your dad used to say to you – “hey there sport!” a little less endearing doesn’t it?) where all the world’s geeks (nobody else is smart enough – no offense) create pumpkin launchers. there are apparently a few cities that have nationally known punkin chunkin contests. other cities (aurora colorado) are in training (and free!!) i initially thought there were probably rules and limitations in how you could create these things, but after we saw one of the pumpkins get launched riding a rocket, now i’m not so sure. i also initially thought these pumpkin launchers would be pretty makeshift – lobbing the poor defenseless pumpkins up about 25 or 23 feet and then dropping down no more than a few footsteps away from where they started. um…one of these launchers sent a pumpkin 1,400 – yes 1,400 feet!! they could probably start a company – their clients would be people like me with demon pumpkins. their slogan can be something like “launching your demon pumpkins 1,400 ft so you don’t have to be haunted by their anime eyes.” something like that. i’m still working on wording a little bit.

my dog can beat up your dog

won't you be my neighbor?

mr rogers said it best when he asked us all to be his neighbor. but, how naïve of us to agree to that before really researching rogers to make sure he would have been a pleasant neighbor. in fact, the more i think about it, the more i can’t picture him delivering brownies to the houses on his street. and i bet he gets really upset when the little neighborhood posse tries to t-p his trees. and does he have plastic flamingos or one of those hedgehog shoe wipes on his front porch?

we had these neighbors growing up – the gerks. we fondly nicknamed them the jerks (and sometimes i called them the geeks, but it wasn’t until i was older and more word-savvy that i realized that nickname wasn’t really applicable. that’s why nobody laughed when i announced it way back when) they hated us. truly. we never ever saw them – i don’t think they ever left their house. until we accidently threw a ball in their yard and tried tiptoeing to get it. then ms. gerk (ps, they looked like the neighbors (the bigheads) on rockos modern life) would come out in her bathrobe and curlers and start screaming at us “what d’ya think you’re doin’? this ain’t no football field!” and we’d run off screaming, without our ball, and then tell ghost stories about it later that night. i think they took our balls to give to their dog, stinky (that maybe wasn’t his real name). stinky was a huge dalmatian chained to a kennel in the backyard. like his owners, he never left. neither did his poop. thus the name. the times when we threw balls into their backyard was the worst. we had a special spot, perfectly out of view of any of their windows, to climb over the fence. it was far enough away from stinky so he wouldn’t eat us. it was living proof of evolution. you had to be quick and sly – if you got caught, you were a goner. only the strong survived.

the point of the walk down memory lane is this – thanks to modern technology (and people with insane amounts of time on their hands), we can now be warned of neighbors like the gerks (and probably mr rogers) before even moving to an area. check this out. you can post comments like “this neighbor sucks” about people – giving as much info as you want (name, address, shoe size) to warn people who might be moving into an area. this could save children’s lives. i don’t know how many kids we lost to stinky. it might also be a funny joke to post something about your friends just to let them know you’re thinking about them.

cruel and unusual punishment

here’s why this store hasn’t thought this through enough:

1) i hope the store intends on giving these gifts to the kiddies after their parents retrieve them. what if the employees get too excited to enforce their policy that they give the kid a shot of caffeine right away and then the parents never come back. joke’s on them. this is totally realistic, too. if i accidently left my kid at this store, i would for sure not go back to get him. i don’t need any more puppies – it’s just not worth it.

2) what kid wouldn’t want to run away if there was a promise of a free puppy attached?

3) what kid would actually drink espresso. gross…they’d end up giving it to the puppy and wouldn’t that be fun

p.s. isn’t that a nice full-body shot reflection? so artistic