flying in little planes, and other acts of patriotism

(showing off her best impression of an american actress fending off the paparazzi)

there's something about summer that just seems so....american... which is funny because do they not barbecue in other countries? no hose water fights? no absurdly giant balls of ammunition being shot up in the air and then exploding into a bunch of lights and sprinkling depris back down on all the voluntary spectators? (okay, i already know the answer to that one) 

in any case, summer = america. which is why the boy really went all out this year with his fourth of july getup. well, that and he lost a bet to me...

these two looked just fantastic (said with a lisp) at the telluride fourth of july parade. there may or may not have been american flag speedos involved too, but that footage has been burned... just look at 'em waving their flags with pride...

q was proud to be an american but opted for a tutu instead of a speedo. thank our lucky stars

 

next on our list of patriotic activities...and i'm not even sure why this felt patriotic to me - maybe because of the red and blue stripes on the side... was our near death experience in a 6-seater prop plane. 

okay fine, it wasn't a near death experience at all - our pilot definitely knew what he was doing, but if you saw the way we were all gripping to our seats for dear life during the flight, you would think it was. let me rephrase that, the boy and i were gripping the seats for our lives while the pilot was casually flipping through pictures on his ipad!!

at one point during the flight, the boy asked the pilot, "so, what would i do if you suddenly died of a heart attack right now?" i can't say for certain, but i'm guessing the pilot sensed our tenseness...

let's back up. our friends invited us to stay at their family cabin with them in montana (see - doesn't that just sound american somehow?) and we've been wanting to see what flying in a small plane was all about (isn't that a normal curiosity?)

so we connected with a pilot who could take the whole fam out and back to the montana boondocks. because that's just the type of thing we do as a family - load up a carseat with a toddler and a pregnant woman on a teensy little plane for a 3 hour flight. i seriously considered wearing depends. by the way, i'm pregnant again in case i haven't mentioned that yet... yay!

(check out how patriotic i am)

the last, and only, time i was ever in montana was with bug on our way to seattle back in the day. we stopped in butte, or as we called it, butt (no offense to any butteons out there. butteites? butteys?) it was pretty sketchy, but that could have just been because we had about $4.23 to both our names and were looking for the cheapest place we could find to spend the night. i guess anyplace would be pretty sketch when that's your criteria. 

we were patriotic back then too though and went to see the site of the battle of little big horn and custard's last stand. It was a powerful scene, and as we soberly drove away from it, bug reverently and in all seriousness said, "wow, what a battle that must have been between big horn and colonel mustard." ...in the conservatory...with the candlestick... 

anyway, back to montana. q liked the plane. especially singing "la la la" over and over again into the headphones for all traffic control people across the country to hear. so i guess she's more adventurous than her parents in that sense

i'm so glad we lived to tell the tale because when we landed back in colorado, there just so happened to be 70-something parachuters jumping out of planes AT THAT VERY MINUTE trying to beat a world record of some sort (also seems oddly american, huh?). so we got to see them do their thing, which looked something like this:

i know, i know. the jumpers look like little tiny spots in the picture - like when you laugh out loud at something you see while on the computer and eating an oreo and it sprays little crumbs on the screen...

so, i took the liberty to make the jumpers feel more personal to you so you could really get a sense of it all

god bless america and all of its bizarre quirks

bbq the night away

this is what a rockin' bbq looks like


and this is what someone who's gotten too many bbq fumes looks like


and this is what a 6'6" person looks like in a basement with 6'0" ceilings


and this is the solution


go team awkwardly tall

hunters and gatherers

while most three year olds have imaginary friends, my nephew has imaginary coins. he holds out his little cupped hand and says “here chelsea, i have a coin for you.” it’s sad to me that i can’t keep the movement of the coin going – you know to help the economy grow and all. people don’t take well to a 25 year old trying to give them an invisible coin though. i wonder at what point people stop thinking imaginary coins are cute and start calling you crazy?

my dog isn’t as much about helping the economy grow. he doesn’t share his wealth so much as he does bury it. anything and everything – treats, toys, dead bodies. (this last item is yet to be confirmed) when you’re an inside dog, your hiding places become a little bit limited. under a blanket, under a pillow, under the carpet after ripping it up. the other morning, meghan woke up with a chicken nugget buried deep down into her hair. it still had bbq sauce on it.

a good way to contribute to the economy is to go see a movie at your local theatre. u23d is a good option. bono is pretty much sitting on your lap. who would complain about that? i told bill i would leave him for bono. i think he was okay with that because he probably would secretly leave me for bono too. anyway, when you buy tickets for a movie and the tickets say 11:30 with no am/pm indication, don’t assume that any theatre would show a family friendly imax movie at 11:30am on a saturday morning. you’d be wrong and then you’d look like a dork as you rush into the theatre at 11:45am (we blame our tardiness on the gps. it led us astray) and hand your tickets proudly to the ticket guy and he says “you realize this is at 11:30pm, right?” yes of course we realized that. that’s why we decided to come 12 hours early to reserve our seats.


happy president’s day!

usa! usa!

when planning your fourth of july holiday, there are four necessary ingredients:

1. camping – getting away from “it all” because “it all” reminds us why other countries don’t love americans

2. hanging out at a park – i think our founding fathers used to do this. they’d take their picnic blankets and frisbees to their local park when their hands were cramping up from writing the declaration of independence. we’re only following in their footsteps

3. bbq – all american!! except for the fact that both hamburgers and bratwursts originated in germany…and i’m sure most bbq grills are actually made in china.

4. fireworks – i know they say fireworks represent “bombs bursting in air” but i’m pretty sure they’ve come to define americans – colorful, loud and free to worship however they want (although i’ve never actually seen a firework at church)

i’m very proud (to be an america) to say that my fourth of july incorporated all four ingredients. i started off with a little camping trip. highlights included: strawberry flavored marshmallows (i know – exciting), learning to throw a frisbee with my thumb (way to go mr. thumbman!) and sleeping for almost 3 hours! (this is a significant increase from pretty much all of my other camping trips)

as soon as i got home, it was time for ingredient #2. so meghan and i ventured out to wash park, where the entire cast of the oc has been cloned and multiplied by at least a bajillion and then perfectly clad and positioned in one of a bamillion volleyball courts around the park. you’re only allowed into wash park if you look good in a bikini (boys and girls). meghan and i snuck in wearing our t-shirts and jeans when the bouncers weren’t looking. then we rented a paddle boat, because that’s just what we do.

in case you were wondering, paddle boating in a lake that’s about a half-mile in circumference can keep an average human being entertained for approximately 22 minutes. after that, you start chasing ducks to run them over and play games like “okay, you peddle with only your right leg and i’ll use only my left and we’ll see how fast we can go.” (p.s. you can’t go fast…ever…even if you’re both using all your legs. this is just the gospel of paddle boating apparently. who knew?)

next, we went to a bbq. plenty of brats and sauerkraut (also german – even though the name sounds american). amongst the people there, the only one wearing any sort of american-pride garb was the woman from britain…we played the game “battle of the sexes” over bbq. it reminded me of the revolutionary battle – except for the part where we answered questions and moved plastic pieces around a board instead of actually sacrificing our lives to defend our freedom.

and finally, we crawled up on the roof and watched a firework show that was being shot up well over 5 feet away from us. we were so close to the fireworks, we were literally covered in debris and ash once the show was over. and since nobody caught on fire, it was actually a very cool experience.

Happy Independence Day!!