the breakup

so the rumors are true, we've moved back to colorado. it's not that seattle's not a great catch and all. i mean, on paper, we seemed like a perfect couple, but at the end of the day, some things are just not worth fighting for.

to set the record straight, there were a couple of reasons that made the move a necessity:

1) i lived there for 4 months...i was starting to feel too stagnant and committed to the relationship and had to get out

2) i'm addicted to the sun (this is probably the real reason)

3) during my stay in seattle, i saw at least a dozen men - yes MEN - wearing skirts. not like kilts or anything. actual, hardcore, that's-the-cutest-skirt-i've-ever-seen-and-it-matches-your-eyes skirts! one morning, i even saw a michael bolton look-alike (mbla) wearing a skirt..no joke...i was on my bus going to work and saw said mbla board said bus. naturally, the first thing i notice is "hey, michael bolton just got on my bus!" already, my trigger finger got itchy to snap a picture of him with my cell phone. but then it got better. mbla was wearing a skirt AND a nice wool turtle neck. it was darling..i couldn't help it, i had to take a picture. i wasn't at the right angle though, so i had to move to get closer. mbla noticed...i tried to play it off like maybe my other seat had loose springs or something so it wasn't that comfortable. i think mbla was fooled. i pulled out my phone and aimed it at him - pretending the whole time that i was just texting somebody and so what if i hold my phone at a wierd angle to do so. then, i snapped the picture. now, i would advise anyone with a picture phone to turn their phone on silent before trying to take a secret picture. this insanely loud shutter sound echoed throughout the bus and mbla shot me a look that clearly meant "why can't we be lovers if we can't be friends." then he got off the bus. at least i have proof...not a great photo, but at least i'm alive today to share it.

4) the star wars emperor lived outside of my office building. okay, so maybe it was just a homeless man wearing an old comforter over his head like any normal person would do, but you can't tell me you wouldn't be frightened that he would brainwash you into giving him all your change and buying him a stick of starbursts (do you know how hard those are to find anymore??) this was also a phone camera moment.

so there you have it - the reasons i had to get out of seattle. it just wasn't healthy being there. plus, if i stayed much longer, i'm pretty sure somebody would have broken my phone and i don't really want to buy another one.