- my new office lamp looks like a female leg pointing her toe and it’s kind-of freaking me out
- yesterday i went to heidi’s deli for lunch and soon realized that i was one of two girls in the entire restaurant of about 50 people (might i remind you – it’s a deli, not a gentlemen’s club). i could hardly focus on what i wanted to eat because i was laughing to myself the entire time and thinking of different taglines in my head that i could sell to heidi’s for a small chunk of cash. i wonder if it was called esteven’s deli would it be all women eating there?
- if you are deep frying homemade eggrolls, do not use a pot thinking maybe the oil will splatter less. it’s amazing how quickly an entire apartment can fill up with smoke so thick you can’t reach the smoke detector to rip the battery out
i'd really appreciate you not calling my apartment complex and letting them know we don’t have a battery in our front room smoke detector. thanks
- there were two new songs that i know of in the past year about girls named chelsea (this is big news – i’ve never known a song about a chelsea before). chelsea dagger by the fratellis and chelsea by stefy. sadly both of them are about cheaters/show girls… i’m scared for the future of the name chelsea
- i’m concerned that my female leg lamp is subliminally making me write about things like gentlemen’s clubs and show girls. i’m scared for the future of the men in my office who get this lamp on their desks
3 comments:
i gave the leg lamp back to my coworker. i was starting to feel like part of "the christmas story".
But that could be a major award!
you know i thought of that and it made me a little sad to part with the thing. but remember how fragile the major award was? with one little smash, all those shattered pieces of leg everywhere. that's a lot of responsibility to give to a person who tap dances on her desk. (i don't, but maybe i'll start now that i have the space sans lamp)
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