america hearts robots

so remember how postal workers are known for being the absolute most awful people on the face of the planet (no offense to any postal service workers who might be reading this (probably none are, they’re all off stealing candy from babies and kicking small animals)). anyway, my point is still this – they are awful. where do you think they got the phrase “going postal” from? uh yeah – postal workers. i pretty much break out in hives whenever i have to physically go to the post office. i take a paper bag to breath into and practice not crying in front of my mirror for hours beforehand. also i have a mousy voice, so i practice not letting it get softer/higher/squeakier when i’m afraid because then nobody can hear me except for a 5-mile radius of dogs. i hear that postal workers eat you when they can’t hear you talk so i try to avoid that at all costs.

i was out visiting dc this weekend (i promise this still relates) where the government is rampant and everybody wears their uniforms with pride, even if their uniforms consist of tommy bahama flowers. the post offices are no different – they’re as post officey as they get. now i haven’t been back to dc for almost a year so i was surprised when not that much had changed. one morning, however, i was walking to my local smoothie king (not nearly as good as jamba juice, but sometimes you just have to deal) and suddenly saw this:

my first thought was “this has got to be illegal. i can’t even rip the sticker stating the pickup times off these freaking mailboxes without getting arrested. how do you paint an entire governmental symbol like r2d2?” this was before i knew what was really going on though. as far as i knew, some tag artist got really gutsy one day and ditched his spray paint for some acrylic and fine paintbrushes.

well, unbeknownst to me, star wars is having its 30th birthday this year and to help celebrate, our very own crusty postal workers have decided to paint various mailboxes around cities like the little space robot! now i appreciate a good nerd and definitely could be defined as one in a lot of regards, but a normal nerd (or tag artist) expressing his/her love for star wars is quite different than the world’s most malevolent (maybe second compared to nazis) group of workers creating these little monsters

reminds you of the revenge of the clones huh? yeah – these puppies are most definitely trained to steal candy and kick animals and are going to be on the corners of our streets and the front steps of our grocery stores. seriously people, this is scary. we as americans should make a stand. only when i get angry, my voice goes all high again and then nobody can hear me, so i guess i’ll just avoid those evil things and protest in my own silent way