how big is your purse?

you know how sometimes stores attach their pens to fake flowers and stick them in a pot on the checkout counter so you can never find them when you're ready to sign the credit card form and you stand there waiting for them to give you a pen and they look at you like you're stupid and say, "uh.. the pens are in the pot, dummy"?

don't be fooled - stores not only do this to make you feel like an idiot, but they also like to make it harder for people to pocket their pens, which i guess i can understand. although, not to sound like i'm a pro at thieving or anything, but stealing a flower pen just seems like a more exhilarating and rewarding challenge to me and not all that much harder than stealing a normal pen sans silk petals. plus, then you have a nice little craft project you can tell your friends you made to impress them.

what's even funnier is when you need a key to get into a public restroom and they tie that key to something like a ping-pong paddle thinking that you can't steal it if there's a paddle involved. i mean, if someone's got it in their head that there's nothing cooler than swiping the only access to a public bathroom, you better believe taking a key AND a bonus prize paddle only adds to the fun and honestly isn't that much harder to walk away with.

at least, those were my thoughts until i asked for the bathroom key at a little grocery store in albuquerque the other day. now these guys have it figured out!

AN ENTIRE COOLING VENT!! talk about a mistrust in your customers.