we bought a vacuum from nike drake's dad

the boy in all of his husbandly glory took me to the vacuum store today to pick out a new vacuum!! i think the saddest part about that sentence is that i really did mean to put that double exclamation point at the end.

of course, we called first to see what time they were open until and to make sure they had the sexy little vacuum i've been eyeing. the saddest part about that sentence is that i think vacuums are sexy.

signs that you've found the perfect vacuum shop:
1. there are tupperware jars of junk to throw on the floor and vacuum up. think containers full of crushed up cheerios, dog hair, molecular-sized allergens...

2. there are vacuums in the store handpainted to look like an american flag. those aren't for sale. we asked

3. the countertop is covered in carpet. because why wouldn't it be?

4. the sales person's name is will drake.

will drake bought all four of his kids vacuum stores a few years back. so, there are four vac shops around the greater boulder area that carry the drake name. problem is, his son (nick) who runs the boulder shop has another day job, so will's stuck managing said store. which is probably why he's not overly invested in making tons of money there.

here's an excerpt from our visit with will:

bill: "we're here to buy a vacuum"
will: "we have those."
b: "great"
w: "this one you're looking at is our best seller. it's on sale from $300 to $250."
b: "great, we'll take it."
w: "but then they go up in cost and features. this one has a rubber handle. but it's $500, $400 dollars."
b: "huh?"
w: "$500 normally, but $400 on sale."
b: "so, what exactly is this sale? like 25% off or something?
w: "no. this one's not on sale. but i feel like giving it to you for $400."
b: "okay. but it's not worth an extra $150 for a rubber handle i don't think."
w: "then i'll give it to you for $300 since you called before you came in."
b: "sweet!"
w: "can i help you build it?"
b: "that'd be great."


at this point, he pulls out the box, sticks the handle into the rest of the vacuum and viola, it's built. good thing we had help with that. then, he went into the back room and started talking on the phone, presumably to one of his sons. "wow! you've made way more than i have today!" and stuff like that.

b: "how about vacuum bags? what are the best ones?"
w: "well these ones are the highest rated vacuum bags around."
b: "and what does that mean?"
w: "it means no other bags are rated higher."

thanks for the clarification, will

then we talked a little bit more about the vacuum's features - bringing up some points that we "researched" (aka, found on the homepage of the brand's website), that apparently we weren't supposed to know - only vacuum connoisseurs knew stuff like that.

i asked him why do they always sell vacuums and sewing machines together and he said, "ya know, i've worked in the business for 30 years and i have no idea. we're looking to get some ceiling fans in here to sell too. and some tasers." and he was serious

on our way out the door, will threw in two extra vacuum belts. "one to use and one to lose." thanks, will! that was the most enjoyable vacuum-buying experience i could ever imagine. and the vacuum is just as sexy as i knew it would be.