what r u doin

i got a new phone. (clap your hands). nothing was necessarily wrong with my old phone except that milo practically ate the entire thing (including the camera which is why my photos rock these days). that whole dog-ate-my-homework excuse? it’s totally legit. my dog’s capable of eating the entire contents of my house – and probably part of my neighbor’s house (she deserves it) (that was mean) – if i didn’t interfere. sometimes i think it would stink to be a small dog or cat. you’re just hanging out minding your own business (or eating the contents of a house), and all of a sudden some human comes and just picks you up. and why do we just pick little animals up? why, to move them to another spot of course! imagine just sitting in your room maybe reading your favorite chapter of your favorite book or maybe you like eating the contents of your house as well. and then all of a sudden, something that’s capable to carry you picks you up without warning and drops you off on the floor two rooms away. what the? did you not see that i was busy being content in there? thanks a lot – now i’ll never finish that chapter.

so my new phone was, i admit, significantly more hi-tech than my old phone. better graphics and sample games. not that sample games really matter. they all end the same – with a desperate plea to get you to buy the full version. better ringtones and sound quality and more spacey looking (like it was made in space. not like it’s roomier).

the life of a new phone isn’t an easy one. it’s always hard to say goodbye to your old phone – you get so connected (get it?) to it and so familiar with the way it rests on your ear and what your ring tone sounds like and exactly how long you can not plug it in before the battery dies. and then you have to let it go for a foreign phone that feels so uncomfortable and weird. but in time, your new phone becomes your old phone and the cycle continues. i feel like singing the circle of life right now and maybe holding milo up to the sun. i won’t. only because i’m at work and it’s an overcast day. so i gave my new phone a fair chance. probably three weeks or so. i liked it, i didn’t love it. and here’s why (and here’s where i’m partially embarrassed to admit that i’m 25 and not 16…) – i’m not a phone talker. ask anyone who’s tried to hold a conversation with me over the phone. it’s not pretty. the introduction of texting was like heaven to me. no need for small talk or to turn my music down – just get in and get out. say what needs to be said and bam. so efficient. i’m pretty sure i could challenge most teenagers to a race of who can text faster. i’m pretty sure i’d win. i’m not saying this to brag. it’s actually a good way to cope with this condition.

so the dealbreaker for my new phone is that i didn’t like the feel of the touchpad. the buttons were too flimsy for me. how am i supposed to text with flimsy buttons?? so, i pulled out my old chewed up phone. what a sweet reunion. my texting speed immediately raised back up by at least 40%. i was home. i ordered a fun new green cover – teeth mark free – i’m so happy. send me a text. i’ll respond with how happy i am.